Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
