just tell him i said nine months
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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