Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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