drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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