Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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