In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
