somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
