Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
