The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
