Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
