Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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