I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sponge bath it is.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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