Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
