I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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