i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
