I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
