Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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