Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
