it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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