Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
