Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
smell my finger.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
