sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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