apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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