Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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