and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
