I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
