I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
