It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
