Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
