My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
