Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I lost the right to judge tonight
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
