Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
