Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
