Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
