windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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