At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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