he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
