We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
