Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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