No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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