GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you made out with another girl for some wings
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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