Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
