My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
