Too much gin, very little bucket
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
