2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
