Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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