just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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