I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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