Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
