I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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